A Series Of Life Is Too Short For...

We’re only here briefly, and while I’m here I want to allow myself…Joy, so fuck it.
—  Her

Currently listening to: Banks - Warm Waters

I am writing from my little corner in Bulacan while the whole extended family is busy preparing food for a reading in the nearby church. The long weekend was supposed to be for playing Skyrim but my cousin's Playstation is not working so now I'm resorting to the internet and small talk with the aunts and uncles.

As I type this, my aunt told me to play an Evanescence song on my laptop. She then resorted to bringing out the resident videoke machine to get the party started (I think).

I have a lot of thoughts going through my head. My ever so unorganised brain is buzzing with thoughts and ideas and feelings.

I am currently thinking about how extroverts are attracted to introverts and vice versa. This thought has been stuck in my head since my friend Jackie and I talked about how we're very good friends even if she's this timid, very shy girl and I'm this loud person akin to the Energizer Bunny. Same goes for romantic relationships. I like talking about this with people because I really like knowing their thoughts on how personality types play a part on the people you build your life with.

I am also thinking about my brothers and how happy I am that Jolo is finally in his last year in college. He will be interning in East Avenue this May. Kenneth will be taking the UPCAT this year as he enters 4th year high school. I really hope he passes because I don't think I can afford sending him to the more expensive colleges, yet. My money this month went to UPCAT review school, OJT fees and other extra-curricular activities but it's all worth it once they graduate. It's my turn to stop working while they pay for my MBA! Hahaha!

I am also thinking how happy I have been for the past few months (with the occasional bouts with loneliness but I drown it all with a glass of wine) because life has been really good. I am so lucky with work. I'm not gonna lie - it's really challenging - but I am still alive and kicking. I am also really happy with my ever so reliable friends. I like how we're all going through different things and yet we found a support system in each other. Don't get me wrong, we don't cry and sulk! The best kind of friends are the friends who will get you off your pity party in exchange for a fun night filled with the best stories.

The future still terrifies me because I will always think of how things will eventually work out. I am still afraid to fall in love again (eww cliche, I know) because of my constant fear of not doing the things I want to do with my life whenever I get stuck in a relationship. I am still afraid of not being successful enough in my work. I am still afraid of not being able to do my lifelong dream of doing documentaries on the different people I will soon meet due to lack in time and money.

But whatever it is that makes me tremble in fear, I just fight it off with the assurance that life is too short to be afraid of whatever it is that I set myself up to accomplish and experience. I won't live life no other way. You may call me irresponsible or hedonistic - even stupid, but I choose to be like this and I won't budge.

Life is too short to be too safe. Life is too short to not feel everything. Life is too short to have the same set of boring stories. Life is too short so let's be brave.


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